Filed under: Grace
I interact with quite a few people and it’s not always hot and steamy. In fact some of the times, I’m just being me. So enjoy my random interactions with the various people in my life:
He: Woohoo! I have a 33 sec video on pornhub now, hahahaha!
Me: You are such a slut and that was hot. You have nice long fingers too. It’s also strange your shoes are all lined up. Yes, I look at everything.
He: Hahahahah!!! I love it when you talk dirty.
Me: Yeah baby. I’m one hot bitch.
He: I got some booty last night, the dry spell is no more.
He: Pray to whatever higher power you believe in that I don’t reproduce.
Me: Only if you do the same.
He: I like that our friendship is based on sexual adventures, insanity and our unwillingness to have children.
Me: You know it.
He: I’m doing ok, not going crazy. Feeling a little congested in the nose, filling kinda ugh.
Me: Awww. Stop kissing boys.
He: Take your own advice bitch!
He: You’re probably right.
Me: I know, the last one landed me in the ER.
He: If I was single I definitely be trying to pass your guy with a brain test.
Me: Oh, you already have love.
He: I don’t like to brag about the size of my brain, but …
Me: I bet it’s big. See, now I’m all turned on.
He: You’re not the first girl to say that.
Me: I know I’m not but how many admitted to getting wet from it?
He: Ok, you’re my first.
Me: I needed to stop to wash the cock off my hands.
He: Aww why, I wanted to smell it!
Me: You can always kiss me.
He: ACK! OMG!
He: Can you give me a ride?
Me: Yes, but it will cost you.
Me: Sexual favors. Lots of sexual favors. Gas is expensive you know.
Her: I keep walking by this cute guy at the college.
Me: Just trip and fall onto his crotch with your mouth next time.
Her: I will make sure to do that, thanks.
Me: Or you can ask him to help you debone a cow with his boner.
Her: Oh God, yes!
He: From now on all my unsolicited dick pics will be marked “Junk Mail”. Just a heads up people for when you check your inboxes.
Me: Junk in my Junk Box. Ok.
He: Want some?
Me: Did you have to ask?
He: Hhmmmm…. hang on, lol.
He: You have mail.
Me: You’re not supposed to tell me. I’m supposed to ignore it because it’s junk mail.
He: I’m new at this, sorryyyy…
He: Aww yeah DSLR.
Me: Here comes the homemade porn!
He: I’ll be taking artistic shots of my balls.
He: Of course. Setup some speed lights and get a remote. I’ll jiggle them and set off all the lights so you can see the powder poof out.
He: Fuck this snow, it took me ten minutes to walk to my cousin’s house and he only lives four houses away.
Me: Are you sure you could even see the house with your disability and all?
He: Oh you are just hilarious.
Me: I know. I always crack myself up.
He: I think it would be hilarious watching you cope with this weather.
Me: Oh, I wouldn’t I would just lie down and die. Fuck that shit, I’m a Californian. I’m used to sun, rain and surfing.
He: We have five inches of snow on the ground right now and it’s still coming down.
Me: Oh yeah, you would find me dead under all that shit. Like possum dead.
He: I’m going sledding tomorrow. There’s a good change of injury.
Me: Awesome. Blind AND broken bones. You’re winning at life.
He: I like to live dangerously.
Me: You watch too much James Bond.
He: Blind. James Blind.
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