Gracie\'s Playground

Sexually Humbling
Sunday June 10th 2012, 7:23 pm
Filed under: Fleshbot,Grace,Sex

I can’t remember the last time I couldn’t come at will. I can’t remember when I was concerned about ever coming again and yet I was faced with that for a whole 24 hours.

My brain had been sent through the ringer the previous two weeks and my usual “fix” for such problems was to simply have copious amounts of sex; let the stress escape through my orgasms and moans.

Friday had finally reared its slow head and I was anxious to see him. It had been two full weeks and my mind was weary. I was a little nervous because the previous weekend I had attempted to masturbate on my own and the two weak orgasms I had pushed from my body were less than satisfactory. In fact, they were very disappointing. But as I drove, I tried to clear my mind of silliness and I thought it would all be cured the moment he put his hands on me…in me.

When he crawled into bed all I could think was, “what if I don’t want this?” and we kiss. I wanted it. I wanted him. I was nervous. I was wet. I felt my body aroused. I felt my mind is not following suit and I started to worry. He had his fingers in me, it felt good and I felt the climb but nothing. He was worked up and I was almost panicked. He crawled on top of me to fuck me and I wanted to stop him but maybe his cock would fix this.


We fucked, he came and I felt nothing. It was the first time I felt like a frigid woman. I didn’t come with him. I didn’t have a throbbing cunt aching to be played with more afterward.

“Did you come?” He asked between breaths.

“No,” I whispered.

I turned over and the lights went out. I cried and it was fear taking over me. What happened? What was wrong with me? I thought, maybe sleep will clear my mind and morning sex would obviously solve the problem.

Morning came and the same thing happened. We played, I got wet but I couldn’t come. I would feel myself climb but I couldn’t push over the edge. I got frustrated and we stopped. We went about our day. I do believe we had played four separate times without me achieving one orgasm. I would get aroused and my body would respond but my mind had this mental damn that would not budge.

I texted with a very close friend and she wrote something on the lines of, “This is truly proof how mental you are.” and she was right.

I was desperate and went for a desperate measure…I decided to try porn. I found a small three-minute clip of a young woman getting fucked and a cock in the mouth while tied up bent over. I felt the arousal and I felt my mind soak in the sites and sounds.

He came into bed with me and I wanted him. I wanted to get rid of the last 24 hours. This time I felt I was myself again. I felt aroused and at the very moment he slipped his fingers inside me I came. My mind unraveled and I felt like an animal let out of a cage. I clawed at him, bit him and grabbed him. I tried to swallow him whole. My body wanted those 24 hours back. I couldn’t get enough of him and this was more than ever before. I left him exhausted and his back was a wreck.

“Did you?” He asked again.

“Yes, couldn’t you tell?” I said panting.

“I just wanted to make sure,” he replied with a smile.

“I guess porn did the trick,” I said.

So, in short, when in doubt…watch porn.

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6 Comments so far
Tell me something

We’re not machines, and our mental state has a lot to do with the enjoyment and release that sex provides. But I agree with you . . . when I’m in a sexual funk, porn works wonders.

Comment by Hardin Reddy 06.11.12 @ 11:24 am

Hardin, I failed to mention that I had Jon talk to me about his past sexual encounters and surely I thought that would have “healed” my mind. I really thought I was broken. Funny how porn can clear the pipes.

Comment by Dark Gracie ® 06.11.12 @ 12:05 pm

Raw and honest. You were never broken. You just needed to remind yourself.

Comment by X 06.11.12 @ 10:14 pm

X, I sure felt broken. 24 hours is a long time to just think I had to “remind” myself.

Comment by Dark Gracie ® 06.13.12 @ 10:02 am

The mental block can often be so difficult to overcome. I’m glad you were able to – sometimes it’s just best to get out of our heads, and porn can do that.

Comment by Bilikesscifi 06.12.12 @ 3:27 pm

Bilikesscifi, Yes, I am very grateful to be able to bounce back from something like that. It’s one of my greatest worries… to not enjoy sex or masturbation or anything sexual. It’s not the only attribute that defines me but I would hate to stop being a sex blogger/writer.

Comment by Dark Gracie ® 06.13.12 @ 10:08 am

Say what is on your mind
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