Recently I had to take a stance, go into this “me” mode and focus on my health and my sanity. With that I left behind my sexual promiscuity with strange men and took a few steps back. Being my age and deciding to have a slut phase this late in life was just plain stupid for me and it was very unsatisfying. I’d rather get a mind fuck than a moment of horrible sex.
So, here I am without having sex in almost a month and let me tell you that I have watched a lot of porn, masturbated near addiction and a few bouts of phone sex. There is no real revelation or any “ah ha’s” to this twisted version of Gracie Celibacy but it has started to calm my mind some.
I won’t lie; as I write this I feel the ache and longing for physical contact and I miss sex. I miss sex like an addict misses that last hit. I get these little moments of panic and think who could I call, who could I see and should I meet that one guy in a hotel room. Then something will distract me from the moment or I’m grabbing a vibrator, having a desperate orgasm and a faded yearning for a real cock in my mouth or cunt.
This little bit of peace has allowed me to think about the next book I will be writing for NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) next month. As you may remember from the past two years that my focus is on the book and the posts will get sparse as they are starting to get during this time of year. This will be your fair warning my dear readers but I feel really good about this novel, as I have already worked out an outline and character development. I feel more than prepared and I’m very excited about this novel as my inspiration comes from my dear brother T.M. Camp.
I still have men and women in my life and my sexual appetite is more than here so do not fear. My deviant life shall resume and soon but for now I need to be selfish.
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