Gracie\'s Playground

Monday May 06th 2013, 9:00 pm
Filed under: Fleshbot,Grace,Masochist,Sex
Photo by The Rick Legal

Photo by The Rick Legal

“Electric flesh-arrows… traversing the body. A rainbow of color strikes the eyelids. A foam of music falls over the ears. It is the gong of the orgasm.”
– Anais Nin.

My thighs were slick with wetness and the bed was a warm puddle of my orgasms. I pushed him on his back and whispered, “I want to fuck you.” His cock was full, thick and hard, as I climbed on top of him and sunk his cock inside me he let out a deep and slow, “Fuuuuck”. I pushed upward as started to grind his cock deeper inside me. The greedy sounds of my cunt riding his cock filled the air and I bit my lower lip. His hands met my nipples and started to squeeze. “Hurt me,” I groaned as I rode harder, it was the only real way for me to come on top, was the mix of pleasure and pain. His fingers pinched hard and my head fell back as my tongue licked the corner of my mouth. I feel so helpless and restless as I am on top.

I had to refrain from digging my nails into his flesh.

I had to refrain pushing my weight into his chest as I fucked him hard.

I had to refrain from pounding my fists into his thighs.

My head hung back swaying to the movement as I continued my anxious grinding and the escalation of my orgasm hit hard as I stared up at the white ceiling. “I’m going to fucking come,” I belted out of my throat. The window was wide open and everyone outside knew what was happening.

“Come for me,” the words enveloped me as his hands grabbed my breasts hard.

It was electric starting from my cunt shooting upward and out of my gaped mouth. It’s a moment of blurred sounds and sensations and I’m not in my body. I’m floating up in the air above and fell hard back inside. As I came down my fists fell to his chest and I collapsed from him as the intense feeling of “good” transformed instantly in to hard sobs. I cried, as if it were a loss of life. A small piece of me had died and I am mourning that piece, a true la petite mort. I curled into his neck and let every ounce of pain out as I gripped his neck holding on for dear life.

I sniffled and tried to regain my composure. “You must be tired of this,” I barely got from my lips.

“No. This is you releasing all that is pent up inside of you,” and he told me this with some understanding of what I keep buried inside me.

I started to sob again and he wrapped himself around me. He whispered in my ear and I responded back into his ear.

Again, I wiped away the sadness and looked at his still throbbing cock.

“That’s a shame,” I sniffed. “Do you want to fuck me?”

“We don’t…have, the time.” He tried to reason but I had already pushed my naked ass into the air and he didn’t argue with me. He moved behind me, grabbed my hips and pushed inside.

The thing about an intense orgasm is the cunt retracting and for me it causes even more tightness. So, when he drove his cock inside me, the electricity shot through my body again. My body vibrated as he worked himself in and out of me. I gripped the sheets with white knuckles and moaned into the mattress. Feeling him force me to open up to him was euphoria. His fingers dug into my hips as his body started to get rigid. The orgasm was strong as he let out groans for each spurt pushing the whole length inside. He fell beside me panting. I smiled at him from behind my arm.

Nothing is perfect. The things we experience may not be always be ideal. It’s what we take from those conflicting moments. Sometimes it takes years to digest and they haunt us in the most inconvenient of times. Letting go is the hardest part of life. Without complexity we are just animals trying to survive.

Song: Gods & Monsters by Lana Del Ray

Photo Credit:
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14 Comments so far
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Wow. This post is just so brilliant and powerful to me, especially the ending. Pfffffff

Comment by Cubana 05.06.13 @ 9:56 pm

Cubana, thank you very much. It was pretty personal to share. I’ve been working on it in my head for weeks now.

Comment by Dark Gracie ® 05.07.13 @ 5:06 pm

I don’t know your history or your relationship, but I can’t imagine a lover with whom you are having fulfilling sex would be bothered by your crying. Still, we apologize for crying, don’t we? (My X did say once, “You ruin everything with all your emotions.” It was a telling moment. She was a lousy lover.)

For me, through the course of a session of sex, be it sweet and gentle, or rough and challenging, it’s as if my partner and I are opening doors. It happens fast. Lots of doors. We might run through them, or hastily close them, or push each other through them. Our paths combined take us to new levels or directions we couldn’t reach with just our own doors. That’s the opportunity we get for risking the intimacy. Some of the doors can’t be shut. Sometimes what is on the other side is something bad, and we cry, muscle memory of fear or loss. Or sometimes it is a place where the air pressure just drops, and we cry, for no reason. We just need to let it out. Sometimes we fall to our (small) death and the tears are of inexplicable traumatic joy.

Tears often cause worry, and checking in is always good, but they don’t even always mean stop.

I think of our tears as gifts, not unlike our orgasms.

They will be appreciated by those who understand, and they will strip us down even further to our cores if they are accepted.

Your post is raw and honest, very descriptive. I could feel myself there, alternately as you or as him. Thank you so much for sharing it with us.

Comment by Wyeth Bailey 05.06.13 @ 10:44 pm

Wyeth Bailey, thank you for the thoughtful comment. I appreciate when new eyes come around and interact with me. I have been known to laugh, cry or become very enraged with my orgasms but for years now it seems to be lots of tears. I may live life with some consequences and I think perhaps they are all catching up to me. It would be nice to not feel so sad when having such an intense moment. It doesn’t stop me from having an orgasm but sometimes there’s a little dread knowing what could happen. Sometimes I welcome it to just cleanse my mind. Thank you again.

Comment by Dark Gracie ® 05.07.13 @ 5:09 pm

This was a gorgeous post to read. It is your unique voice – exactly as Wyeth said – so raw and honest.

For me, personally, conflictedness lie at the very heart of the erotic. Yes, we are animals and we mate, but we are also much more, and that ‘much moreness’ is what we bring to the gates of sex, when we’re doing it right.

Comment by Remittance Girl 05.07.13 @ 12:42 am

Remittance Girl, Thank you. It feels like the absolute truth is exposed at that very vulnerable moment. It takes someone you can trust to really let that part be exposed. I don’t cry with strangers, only with the ones I love.

Comment by Dark Gracie ® 05.07.13 @ 5:12 pm

this post was/is amazing. The intensity I could feel from my chair. The depth of feeling, the need to release, the hunger for more. Incredible, Gracie, just incredible.

Comment by Andrew 05.07.13 @ 10:08 am

Andrew, Thank you very much for the kind words. I didn’t think it would strike so many chords but it feels good it did.

Comment by Dark Gracie ® 05.07.13 @ 5:12 pm

Well done, I enjoyed this account very much. Again, your writing is very appealing. Thank you.

Comment by TFP 05.09.13 @ 3:28 am

TFP, Thank you very much.

Comment by Dark Gracie ® 05.10.13 @ 9:41 am

Wow – the writing in this post is electric! Love the final paragraph =)

Comment by Samantha 05.29.13 @ 8:27 am

Samantha, Thank you very much.

Comment by Dark Gracie ® 05.31.13 @ 12:43 pm

Exposed. Intense. Enthralling. Best of.

Comment by X 06.03.13 @ 12:37 am

X, thank you very much.

Comment by Dark Gracie ® 06.05.13 @ 9:12 am

Say what is on your mind
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