“Electric flesh-arrows… traversing the body. A rainbow of color strikes the eyelids. A foam of music falls over the ears. It is the gong of the orgasm.”
– Anais Nin.
My thighs were slick with wetness and the bed was a warm puddle of my orgasms. I pushed him on his back and whispered, “I want to fuck you.” His cock was full, thick and hard, as I climbed on top of him and sunk his cock inside me he let out a deep and slow, “Fuuuuck”. I pushed upward as started to grind his cock deeper inside me. The greedy sounds of my cunt riding his cock filled the air and I bit my lower lip. His hands met my nipples and started to squeeze. “Hurt me,” I groaned as I rode harder, it was the only real way for me to come on top, was the mix of pleasure and pain. His fingers pinched hard and my head fell back as my tongue licked the corner of my mouth. I feel so helpless and restless as I am on top.
I had to refrain from digging my nails into his flesh.
I had to refrain pushing my weight into his chest as I fucked him hard.
I had to refrain from pounding my fists into his thighs.
My head hung back swaying to the movement as I continued my anxious grinding and the escalation of my orgasm hit hard as I stared up at the white ceiling. “I’m going to fucking come,” I belted out of my throat. The window was wide open and everyone outside knew what was happening.
“Come for me,” the words enveloped me as his hands grabbed my breasts hard.
It was electric starting from my cunt shooting upward and out of my gaped mouth. It’s a moment of blurred sounds and sensations and I’m not in my body. I’m floating up in the air above and fell hard back inside. As I came down my fists fell to his chest and I collapsed from him as the intense feeling of “good” transformed instantly in to hard sobs. I cried, as if it were a loss of life. A small piece of me had died and I am mourning that piece, a true la petite mort. I curled into his neck and let every ounce of pain out as I gripped his neck holding on for dear life.
I sniffled and tried to regain my composure. “You must be tired of this,” I barely got from my lips.
“No. This is you releasing all that is pent up inside of you,” and he told me this with some understanding of what I keep buried inside me.
I started to sob again and he wrapped himself around me. He whispered in my ear and I responded back into his ear.
Again, I wiped away the sadness and looked at his still throbbing cock.
“That’s a shame,” I sniffed. “Do you want to fuck me?”
“We don’t…have, the time.” He tried to reason but I had already pushed my naked ass into the air and he didn’t argue with me. He moved behind me, grabbed my hips and pushed inside.
The thing about an intense orgasm is the cunt retracting and for me it causes even more tightness. So, when he drove his cock inside me, the electricity shot through my body again. My body vibrated as he worked himself in and out of me. I gripped the sheets with white knuckles and moaned into the mattress. Feeling him force me to open up to him was euphoria. His fingers dug into my hips as his body started to get rigid. The orgasm was strong as he let out groans for each spurt pushing the whole length inside. He fell beside me panting. I smiled at him from behind my arm.
Nothing is perfect. The things we experience may not be always be ideal. It’s what we take from those conflicting moments. Sometimes it takes years to digest and they haunt us in the most inconvenient of times. Letting go is the hardest part of life. Without complexity we are just animals trying to survive.
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