Gracie\'s Playground

my own private hell
Wednesday June 21st 2006, 5:49 pm
Filed under: Grace

i am surly

i am bitter

i am angry

i am unsatisfied

i am starving

i am dark

shall i go on or do you get the picture?

i want to destroy everything beautiful. i want to feel pain to numb this moment of desperation and addiction. i want to hurt. yet, i want to hurt those all around me. so i dare you to smile in my direction and i will give you a look that will make you melt in your fucking shoes.

i have this curl in my lip and bitterness searing in my veins. my eyes are piercing and hurtful. my words sharp and uncaring.

i want to reap havoc on the world and spread this wrath of anger and withdrawal. i want to burn, i want to scar and i don’t want you to forget who i am. i want you to remember for an eternity who did this to you…IT WAS ME.

just because i understand reality does not mean i have to go along with it nor like it. i am fucking selfish and i will get what i want..when i want it. if you withhold from me…i will hurt you ten fold.

as i suffer, my mind calculates a heated burn to send your way. you will pay and it won’t be a pretty payment either. as i escalate to get your attention and when i do get it…i will have that evil grin upon my face with no remorse for your feelings or thoughts.

you will suffer

you will be surly

you will be bitter

you will be angry

you will be unsatisfied

you will starve

and most of all…you will be dark because i will drag you down with me kicking and screaming. you will come to my private hell with me and you will feel this…you will…i promise.

i will rip you apart and i will leave you to gather the pieces of yourself. as i sit here detached and broken.

i have no compassion

i have no guilt

i have no remorse

i won’t ask for forgiveness

there is no love in me now…just rage.

my mind is screaming, yet i sit here quiet and i am thinking.

it won’t stop till there is retribution.

till my rage is subdued.

everyone will pay for this…including you.

1 Comment so far
Tell me something

something tells me that you and i share the same passion u just wrote about …

read my blog and tell me ….

Comment by kindabiz 07.14.06 @ 1:16 am

Say what is on your mind
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