Gracie\'s Playground

monogamy vs. monogamy
Wednesday April 18th 2007, 5:45 pm
Filed under: Grace

on my way in this morning i was thinking about the spring mode i am in. people talk about being monogamous, poly-whatever, etc. etc. i even have been told by others we are not meant to be monogamous creatures and maybe that is a nice excuse to sleep around if you are married. but, in my mind i have come to my own conclusion that fits my realm. i am monogamous with my husband when it comes to unconditional love and wanting to grow old with him. however, i am not sexually monogamous because my body and mind needs that extra bit of stimulation that one man cannot give. perhaps if he tried and i know it is possible for a man to be more then a woman can ask for, but i cannot stress him with that. i am already “demanding” with my sex drive and maybe that is why he wants to impregnate me (he is thinking maybe, just maybe this will slow me down). i do not want him to constantly worry that is he not enough for me, just as i am not enough for him sexually. we seek our desires through various portals and at what point is enough enough? where do you draw the line?

right now my vision is blurry and there are no lines. i know what i need to stay sane and i refuse to nag or whine about it. i maybe surly and full of rage, but i am not going to be the typical nagging wife. i don’t even like to be called “wife”. i just want to be me.

6 Comments so far
Tell me something

I am not a wife, but I understand what you are saying. I hate feeling repressed and guilty and gluttonous in my lust. I hate holding it back to not exhaust him with it. I want more than he has to offer, yet my desire is only focused on him. It’s frustrating not being able to say FUCK ME every time I want it. *Sigh. You’re right; we are nymphos. I think pregnancy would make you even more randy. That might flaw his plan…

Comment by Chris 04.18.07 @ 6:03 pm

you are your first before you are anyone else’s.

Comment by Bunny Lebowski 04.18.07 @ 7:33 pm

Embrace every part of yourself. Without apology. Or explanation.

thank you my dear. i appreciate your input. i will do so without looking back.

Comment by Liras 04.20.07 @ 8:10 am

This thought reflects my own. I battle with this very subject every day. But for me.. the choice is, do I stay or do I go… and it looks like I must go and perhaps seek out the man who can come close to what I desire. It is very obvious that you share something special with your own.

my sweet mina, i know your turmoil. i wish you the best in the direction you choose to go. i want to see you happy again and full of life.

i do share something special with E and i would never walk away from him.

Comment by Mina 04.20.07 @ 8:39 am

I think most women battle this topic. At least the ones that I have spoken with do. It does raise a lot of questions. As I’m growing up and growing older, I’m starting to think that we arn’t nessesarily meant to be monogomous. But generally its rare to find two people who have the same “open” viewpoint. Does E know that you’re not sexually monogamous? And is he okay wtih it?

I feel like there’s so many people in this world, at some point (or lots of points) you’re going to run into other people that you have chemistry with. Men and women. And to deny that is difficult to do.

we are open on some level and not all. sexual experiences can happen both in the mind and body. i am more of a creature that enjoys the mindfuck and sometimes overing the actual act of fucking.

E tries to find us playmates under his strict guidelines, but that is a slow process. but, one day it will happen.

Comment by Cha0s By Design 04.23.07 @ 7:37 am

Mine also has been trying to find a playmate, but its a difficult process. Mainily, I’m very picky with my women. I’m not even sure how he would react. I’m trying to find a sex club to take him to, at the very least, to watch and play with each other.

I also prefer the mind-fuck. It gets me off tremendously. It also torments me and plauges me and will haunt my every waking thought, so sometimes I have to be careful.

yes, i know exactly what you mean about being careful. i am also very picky about women. i want someone like me. E is trying to find us a guy. i like that thought as well.

Comment by Cha0s By Design 04.23.07 @ 12:23 pm

Say what is on your mind
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