Gracie\'s Playground

Monday March 26th 2007, 12:09 am
Filed under: Grace

i was laying on my stomach in the tub as i usually do. i was breathing in the hot fumes rising from the surface. i felt different in the water. i wanted it to wash away something…my sins? my weaknesses? my mistakes? or is it just my newly developing cold that has invaded my body?

i have always had a fondness for water and wind. as a child my mother would tell you i was a fish. i have always enjoyed swimming and baths. at times i have felt that i was never meant to be in my skin, in this body. when i was younger i would wonder what it would be like to be a boy or in a different circumstance. i have always felt awkward, like i was meant to be a different animal just not this species. i now wonder if every child has felt this way and i am certain every adolescent always wished to be anyone but themselves. but now in my thirties at times i still feel i am not supposed to be here. i am not certain if i believe in reincarnation but perhaps in the next life i will end up where i am destined.

4 Comments so far
Tell me something

Water is so comforting. You are not trying to wash away your sins or flush out your mistakes. You are just cleansing your mind.

Comment by liras 03.26.07 @ 12:41 am

Very appealing and intimate thoughts. I think we can all associate in our own ways. Thanks very much for sharing. As I always say, these kinds of “real thoughts” only serve to make you that much more alluring…

Comment by Tom 03.26.07 @ 5:11 am

I have discovered a more intense love of water and sex in water through my fuck buddy. He is a fish as well. A fish who doesn’t float. I can understand your frequent sessions in the bath.

Hope you feel better. I have another cold too. 🙁

Comment by Chris 03.26.07 @ 6:01 pm

“i was never meant to be in my skin, in this body”

Fish, human, butterfly….youre beautiful baby! Your soul is an energy that pervades your body, it also penetrates your surroundings, your lover(s), etc. Thats why when someone goes away, it still sorta feels like they are there.

Now, what was I saying? Oh yeah….your soul isn’t contained at all. (In fact, mine often travels 3000 to spend a second or two with someone that I love.) Your body is merely the container for your soul. Think of it as a shampoo bottle, per se. That would make you, the shampoo.

What happens when you go travelling? You put shampoo into a travel size container, another bottle. It’s still the same shampoo, except that this version bursts mid-flight ruining a new dress and a nice pair of slacks.

So, you and everything that makes you uniquely you (aloe vera, red dye #7, sodium laurel sulfate, etc) is separate from the body (a plastic brightly colored container). In fact, the two have nothing to do with each other.

So there is no wonder that you feel awkward. You are a totally free spirit, not even a body at all. Try working on slipping outside of the body while in this life because reincarnation is totally uncertain. Become part of the wind, of the waves, of the fire, of the sand. I think that ultimately you may gain a lot of comfort and clarity about yourself and your place in nature.

Then again, a hot fudge sundae may be just as satisfying.

Comment by Bunny Lebowski 03.29.07 @ 12:36 pm

Say what is on your mind
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