i realized looking at my blog it’s been a very long while since the last post. it’s not that i have locked myself up in a dark room. it’s been busy with work, illness, sex and my art. i am loving life even when it keeps insistently throwing hurdles my way. the way i approach the stress is through determination and positivity and not be be mistaken with denial, if there is a problem, i am going to solve it.

the sex, is still amazing. my only complaint, i am not getting enough. poor me, right? it’s still unpredictable and yet i make a point to follow through with an act i want to do. what might that be? for example, this morning i got R up the way i have always wanted to wake a man, with my mouth on his cock. i think i made up for my oral fixation between last night and this morning.

i love that feeling of him pushing his cock inside of me when i haven’t had penetration since our last session together. it always feels like the first time, that slow forcing to open up to him and let him have me. i can never grow tired of that sensation. i melt and become completely submissive. there is this satisfaction of a tall man taking me, i feel so helpless. yet, i enjoy pushing him on his back and fucking his cock with my mouth till he cums.

his arousal, is my arousal.

the intensity of the moment is so panicked for me it’s sometimes hard for me to truly express that in words and i relive that moment when i focus on it. my heart will race, i lose my breath and i flutter between my legs. i start to cry and it’s not because of sadness or even joy. it’s the intensity of how i feel. it’s a build up to an explosion and having that every time is a remarkable gift to experience. i feel completely fortunate that i am able to have that every time with him.

almost a year later and one would think it would plateau, become routine and possibly boring. yet, i beg to differ. i don’t have the secret formula and won’t sit and try to analyze why. i will continue on and enjoy what i have with him.