today i slipped on the most flimsiest of black panties. when i had them on it made me feel like i didn’t have anything on under my jeans. the nice thing about them is how easily they could be torn from my flesh. i even wondered if getting wet in them would just dissolve the fabric from between my legs.

hurt

cum

fuck

those were the only words i had typed to him as i watched him.

i let him get himself to the edge without a single word. i wondered if he was going to just cum when he was ready. but he typed a word that made me realize he was waiting on me. i just watched and

hurt, he knew this meant to hurt for me. i watched his hand wrap around his balls and squeeze till he almost doubled over in his laying state.

cum, this was his signal to cum with me and i watched my cum (yes i am that possessive and selfish) spurt from his cock on to his belly. one orgasm wasn’t enough for me as i came a second time as i focused on him.

fuck, was what i typed after the first orgasm.

we didn’t talk afterwards. i told him goodnight and logged off.

someone dear had asked me about my fixation about sucking cock. i thought i would try to explain it on here.

i think a lot of the fixation is due to the fact that E just does not find joy in a blow job. it is not that i am terrible at it or anything, he is just a strange creature. i think naturally we as creatures tend to get fixated on what we can not have or do. in my case sexual normalcy seems to be arousing to my senses. as much as he enjoys getting me off as i moan, scream, curse and hiss. i feel that i do not get that same interaction with him. he hardly makes a noise at times unless i really get him in a primal state. i like to know that i am doing a good job or know that i am getting him off. for once i want to hear a man grunt, moan and tell me he feels good. this is why i love hearing a man cum and always orgasm to the sound.

which is why i come back to sucking cock. that particular act is different because i have his arousal at my disposal. the focus is on me pleasuring him with my mouth and hands. he has to let it happen and watch me please him. i don’t care if his hands grab the back of my head or he starts to spew filth into the air. i will gladly swallow his cum. the point is, for those few minutes it is about him and his pleasure. why can’t he just let me do that?

right now as i write this at the demands of E i am getting molested in the worst ways. he even made the notion of keepting all the mistakes in this post. so you have to forgive me. i cannot begin to express how difficult it is to write/type when you have fingers shoved inside of you hitting your g-spot repeatidly.

“you are making mess, i need to get a towel,” he walks away.

he positions a towel beneath me and snaps on latex gloves. he kneels by the fuck bed and begins his torment as i type. fuck i can’t think straight and the wetness keeps seeping out of me. i think he has added another finger to the torment and i keep gasping and breathing heavy inbetween hitting the keys.

E’s contribution to this post while his other hand was three fingers deep inside of me:
I’m fucking this bitch right now and her pussy is so wet.

at a certain point i could not type because the intensity of his molestation was body numbing. he kept causing me to squirt while my ass was up in the air. as i gasp and moan like such a needy slut i keep thinking about how bad i want him to fist me, stretch me. then i start to feel how tight my cunt is around the three fingers he has deep inside of me and how hard would it be for him to try to slip in the other two stragglers. as i continued to think about him fisting me and the video footage i have watched of men pushing their hands so easily in a girl’s pussy i start to buck against his fingers.

“do you want your dildo?” he asks.

“no, i want your fingers, ” i blurt.

he pushes them deeper and at the point of wonderment if he is going to fist me i come loud and wet.

afterwards he reads the post and says,”i don’t like what i wrote i come off as a pig.”

i respond with, “well, you were at that moment and there is nothing wrong with that. no one said you had to be all romantic. that wasn’t the point of it.”

“hmmmm.”

last night i had taken a shower and laid on my fuck bed with the towel covering me. my legs were spread and i laid there for several minutes rubbing and touching myself. i let images roam in my mind seamlessly and recalled words that were spoken to me. at that very moment i just wanted to be back in my private dark room in salem hearing the rain hitting the window and listening to arousing voices through my phone.

i have been fixated with giving blow jobs again and then i read Dirty’s post. i went to the links he provided and it just made my desire even stronger to feel a hard cock between my lips. to cup and suck on balls and to taste the cum being spurted into my mouth.

goddamn.