i don’t even think e kissed me once last night. it was an experience in which i was used. it was not loving, caring nor romantic.

the only moment i felt that there was a sense of calm was when he was between my legs licking my cunt. i could not help but want to grab his head and grind into his mouth till i came. he kept throwing my hands upward and demanding they stay above my head. his skillful use of an ice cube in his mouth while licking me had me panting. he knew when it would be too much and would shift it around. he forced my legs spread the entire time.

“don’t you move and shut your eyes”, he said.

he got up and i laid there not even having a clue what he was about to do. i could hear him pacing about and fidgeting with latex gloves. he sat next to me and covered my nose and mouth with his gloved hand, while rubbing my cunt with the other.

the smell of the glove and his insertion of a finger made me jut upwards.

my eyes fluttered and he let me breathe.

not for long as he covered my nose and mouth again.

another finger goes inside of me and i moan, he lets me breathe…

he covers my nose and mouth again…

a third finger forces its way in my cunt.

i shake.

he turns me over onto my hands and knees. he punishes my ass and inserts a dildo in my cunt and a plug in my ass without any lube. he fucks me and talks to me…he makes me repeat lines for him…

“i like being used….i like being used…”

“i want to be used by other men”

“i am a bitch”

he starts to rub oil on my back and ass. he continues to punish my ass with sharp stings. he tells me i feel good and fuck good. he says he likes my pussy and that he should share it with other men….that he should let them fuck me. he fucks me with this cock and it gets harder and harder. he starts to grunt with each thrust. my body just vibrates against the pounding from behind. he grabs my hair and pulls me towards him each time. i have no control in this, but to take it..take it like the little slut i am.

he holds a vibrator on my clit while fucking me with a dildo again. i start to fuck these objects and my body arches upward grinding against the vibration and i am flooded with an intense orgasm. he pushed me back down on the bed. he wanted me back on my hands and knees. i could feel his one hand gripping my ass and i had this sense he was jacking off behind me. i sat there so submissively not know what he was going to do. his grip on my ass became firmer and firmer and he spread me apart. he pressed his cock against my ass as if he was going to shove inside of me and he came. his hot cum running from my ass to my cunt made me moan and he was still pressed hard up against me as i rubbed against his hot flesh.

he was not done with me…

he continued to violate my ass and cunt. if it was not his fingers, it was a dildo. i could not think straight and i felt so used and spent. after making me masturbate and coming two more times then i wanted to, he made me get on the bed. i laid on my stomach thinking it was over. he told me to put my ass up and i gave him a whimper. this was more then i could take. he then did it….he dared me to use the safe word or put my ass in the air. i was too proud to use the safe word, so hesitantly i stuck my ass up to him and he shoved in the dildo. he fucked me hard and when i finally screamed into the bed, he stopped.

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i learned something interesting while having an involved conversation with E last night during dinner. we had both been drinking and i was more in sustaining my state of a buzzed mind then he. he told me the following:

you will never be my wife

the only reason i married you was to put you on my health plan so that i could take care of you

i see you as my favorite and best piece of ass

i own you

you are mine

we will keep pushing the limits till one day you will have to say the safe word and mean it

i am not the sharing type, but if i feel we need another guy in the room, i will control that

i think one day we will need that to keep it interesting and to try

E then expressed to me how he has been enjoying by more then usual submissiveness.

now when E comes home on saturdays he finds me on the bed in just panties waiting for him. he loves this considering i do this the way he likes it. he has mentioned that he would want me in a black thong instead in the middle of the bed. i will comply with this.

E is enjoying this dom/sub experience we are having. he seems to be intuned with me in knowing how far to push and keep it highly arousing. i am very impressed with his escalation and interaction with me.

tonight he fucks me…it has been over a week of no cock in my cunt. i am aching and needing it.

i had walked in the door with my mind set on discussing a matter with e. i told him i wanted to talk and we talked for about 5 minutes. he ended our conversation with…

“i think, you need to take off your clothes now.” with a smirk.

i gave him a look of surprise. he repeated his line again. so i knew at that point we were going to resolve this in another way.

i took off my shirt and he got up from the bed to come to my side. i unbuttoned my jeans and he proceeded to assist by yanking them down and bending me over the bed to spank me. in between his hard and firm hits he undid my bra, pushing it off and gestured for me to completely remove my jeans. he pushes my panties to have access to my ass.

“lay on the bed and stay there till i come back for you.” he commands while pointing on the bed.

i lay there on my stomach and he leaves the room to start the bath. he comes back for me and pulls me up and tells me to leave my panties on.

i get in the tub. we don’t talk about the weather or how our days were. he just washes me and tells me what to do. i listen to him and obey his orders. his hand glides between my legs, under the panties and he teases my cunt. my head goes back and i longed for that touch.

“turn over.” he tells me as he leaves the bathroom.

i turn over in the tub on to my stomach. i turn my head towards the wall and rest it on the edge of the tub. i hear him come back in and pulls my panties down past my ass. he inserts a dildo and proceeds to fuck me. my ass pulls out of the water and i grip the edge of the tub. he fucks hard and every so often he takes a hard swipe at my ass. my knees are pressed into the tub and my legs shake as he keeps the rhythm of punishment.

he starts to slow down and he pulls the plug for the tub and leaves. he comes back for me and does not offer a towel but direction to the bedroom to lay on towels he had arranged on the ground. i start to shiver from being wet and cold. he tells me to lay on my stomach on the ground. i do as i am told. he pulls off my wet panties and tosses them to the side. he fidgets around and i hear a click of a top and he proceeds to lube my ass. i get nervous no knowing if he plans to use a toy or his cock. i feel him open me which is nice for him and he pushes in a toy and it hurts me. i yelp and with that he answers to fucking me with the dildo and hard.

he starts to talk to me. he tells me he wants several guys to come over and molest me. think he is a dark? that is a term i whisper to him when plays with me. i beg him to molest me….take me…hurt me. he may just follow through on that talk he gave me.

yesterday i had cancelled shooting in the city to try to get a last fuck in before i went out of town for a couple of days. the fucking was as the other night. very satisfying, very twisted and resulted in three intense orgasms. the only difference was he fucked me with his cock (which i prefer) and his talking grew rather dirtier.

saying he owned me and i was his.

he was telling me how he would have drunken friends come over and fuck me.

he called me a cheap slut, a sex toy, mentioned all i was good for was fucking, asked me if i liked being used.

asked me if i liked the pain as he was yanking my hair and at a scarf around my neck.

of course i did.

he did penetrate my ass with the dildo and went inside of me. he let off as i yelped. but, i did not complain. perhaps that was enough for him at that moment. i have not had my ass fucked in years. as funny as this seems, i am nervous and i have a feeling our interactions will escalate to him taking my ass.

the price for this afternoon was a small horizontal line of a bruise across the front of my neck. i am sure i will discover more bruises today.

very late that evening on our way home, i wanted oral from him. i wanted him between my legs looping his arms under my thighs and licking my cunt. it felt like this urgent need. because we had an under aged visitor in the next room, i had to be quiet.

he put me at the edge of the bed, got on his knees and licked me. it has been so long and i was raptured by it. my breathing growing more and more intense. my arms flailing about. i started to let our heavier breaths control the noise and i tried my best to stay as still as possible not to make obvious noises with our bed. at a point i thought i was going to explode with moans so i buried my face in a pillow. i still did not lose my control. it stiffled heavier breaths that lept from deep within. i almost came from his licks but he changed something and i lost it. i did not want him to stop and he was good to keep giving me what i needed. in my mind as i was intently trying to make myself come…i was thinking of someone else. i was thinking of him licking me. that thought caused me to lose control of my movement.

he inserted a finger and my back arched. he put in another and i had to cover a small moan that escaped. he fingered me till i came and i could not have been happier.

i was still charged as he stood up above me. touching my cunt through my panties that he moved back in place. he seemed questioning about why i wanted this at 1:00am. i expressed to him i would not see him for several days and i was concerned. he wanted me to calm down and not panic. he kissed me and gently groped me without being rough. he kept rubbing my cunt through the panties and i kept moving to his rubs. he fingered me again to another orgasm and i grew sleepy. i let him touch me, caress me and hold me. it has been a while since we had this affection. before this bout of intense rough sex, we used to have affection and it was something we both enjoyed. i think it is time to revisit some affection and work that in to the dark sex.

i must admit my sex life is bipolar. when it is good…it is great and when it is bad…it is miserable.

last night was great. i wasn’t pushing, nor did i have expectations. i think he is starting to realize that i am stressed when i don’t get fucked. so, he took care of that.

it clicked to him last night, that i like it rough. he then tried to reason it, compare it to other women and i told him, well everyone is different. he seems to give me a little bit more each time of what i want without me expressing that desire.

this night was a combination of fucking me with a dildo and his cock. the words spewing out of his mouth were delicious and later confessed he thought they were a bit much (however, i immediately expressed my liking for his words). the one phrase that he said to me that i knew was arousing him because while he was fucking me and said it…i felt him grow ever so hard inside my cunt…

“i like giving you pain, it turns me on”

he commanded that i fuck this dildo like it was real. he told me to slow down or pound it harder. when he talks to me and says those dirty little things…he does not fuck my cock or you want my cock in your mouth. he says it…fuck this cock, you want a cock in your mouth. which implies to me in my deviant mind…someone else’s and not his. i must give him credit with his choice words to peak my arousal.

“get down on the ground and masturbate…now…now…now!” he demands.

i so submissively comply. he had thrown down a pillow and pointed at it as i laid on my stomach with a scarf around my neck. he straddles my legs closed and starts to fuck me with the dildo in my very tight cunt. i try to focus and the obvious comes to the front of my mind. i pull on it as it goes in and out of me without ease and within second i am flooded with a release that arches my back.

he tugs at the scarf and i focus to come again. he is getting his technique down in such a way that i come again with great intensity. yet, he does not stop and he squeezes at my neck as he forces his fingers inside my cunt and i scream, or at least try to.

just thinking about the intensity of those orgasms sends my mind reeling.

he then sits on the edge of the bed. tugs me up on my knees with the scarf stares into my face and brushing my hair away from my sticky face. he then looks down between his legs and pulls me towards his cock. i eagerly lick and suck on him. at that point…i felt utterly dominated.