like a good girl, i waited for him on the bed. laying on my stomach in a black thong. he would be home soon and i dosed.

he came home and i can imagine his reaction taking that corner to our bedroom seeing naked legs…further…my ass…the black thong…and me in nothing else with my eyes closed. usually he is tired, but i think that captivated him as he walked in and slapped my ass. forcing my legs apart and posing me to his likes. he took a shower.

at that point i realized how dominant he was over me. i was just laying there waiting as he showered. i almost did not feel human and i was aroused. do not confuse this with degradation. it was the complete opposite. it was more like a prize, a possession for him. to be used by the only one you can trust not to cross a personal line.

the shower stopped and i got excited and a little scared. i really did not know what was to happen with him. the past week his dominance over me has grown in strides and i was excited by the unknown with him. he wants to give me what i want, but at the same time i think he wants something from me.

i was greeted with a wet slap to my ass. i won’t lie, it stung. he asked if it was too much or did i like it? the question was meant to be asked per se. i had to accept i liked it and i did. i responded to his question as he stung my ass with wet slaps.

forcing my ass up in the air and arching my back to this likes. he stung my ass while grazing a touch down to my cunt. that drove me crazy. wondering just when…when will he put skin to skin…when will that thong be moved or pulled down…when am i getting a cock inside me…or will i get fucked today? i did not have a clue with him, as during the week i would get teased and not get fucked.

putting me on my back he got down between my legs and started to lick me. god, it has been a while. i just laid there taking in each lick, each touch and tried my best to stay as still as he demanded from me.

he then turned me over and pushed himself into me. he wasn’t nice about how he handled me. pulling my hair hard and grabbing my ass. he asked me without needing the answers…

“you like to fuck grace?”

“you little bitch”

“you like being my fuck toy?”

“you like the thought of me buying you from the store to be my fuck toy?”

i was getting fucked the hardest i have ever been fucked. i was amazed at his roughness and drive. to be fucked like a toy for his pure pleasure just thrilled me. my whole body shook with his force from behind. i was speechless and could not muster a noise.

a scarf came around and tightened around my neck. i was at the peak of my arousal at this point. i felt myself just grow wet with desire. he noticed this immediately and enjoyed as i was giving in to his acts on me. it must be the slight panic that your body is in danger that gives me this sensation. giving up all control that i could possibly have and trusting him to keep me safe. he always does.

i was fucked right today

i passed out for hours

now, i sit here sore and glowing.

This post was featured on Good Vibrations Magazine

selfishness gloats

and i have a evil grin upon this dark face of mine

knowing that my words, actions make you crazy

i am the alpha female in your mind

you let me use you for my arousal

your compliance only makes me demand more from you

when you let me revel in my rightful place, it makes me want you

i feel empowered and wicked

forcing my words and thoughts into your mind with your consent is delicious

feeding you with wait and more wait while heightening your sexual desire for me

i could not ask for a perfect gift

you have walked into my life

it was like I could see a shadow out of the corner of my eye

and I turned, and you were there

as if you had been conjured out of my the pieces of my psyche

the tendrils of erotica

from the hidden corners

woven together

and I didn’t want you

you were me

a reflection of my hungers

made flesh.

he is learning how to give me what i need. i must stress learning. you would think after being with someone for so many years you would know what each other wants. in reality your wants change. mine have changed a lot.

he has intensified the spankings with me. his roughness has increased to a point where he mentioned that he felt it was a bit much. i told him, it was fine with me.

i told him about anticipation, however, i do not feel he has understood what that means to me.

that does not mean i do not enjoy our interactions. because, when he had my thong pulled down past my ass and was demanding i stay still and i was going to learn control, i was drenched. when he was spanking my ass till he felt it grow softer and softer, i did not complain. or when he was violating my wet cunt with his fingers as i hung over the side of the bed with his other hand around my throat…needless to say i was aroused. after he made me masturbate, while slapping my ass without remorse, orgasm 3 intense times and then he tried to shove his fingers inside of my clenched cunt, i was thrilled. over 45 minutes of play last night and his cock did not enter my cunt.

we talked afterwards and he said he would fuck me tonight…he thinks that is anticipation. yes, to some degree it is. yes, i am wet right now, but it is not because of him….it is because of another. i want to fuck and i have wanted to since this morning. i guess that is anticipation and that will work if he delivers on his promise. the anticipation i seek is the tease, tension and arousal before anything enters me. i yearn for “that moment”. there are two “moments” at least for me…one is that first thrust of a cock or finger(s) inside my wanting cunt. the second moment is getting me to that state of mind where i am at the peak of arousal…i am willing to do what you want without a second thought or saying no…i am eager to please…i want to please…i want it all…i will give it all. i am yours completely without hesitation.

i think i have caused him conflict in his mind as he is trying eagerly to give me what i need…not what i want…but what i need. his increased dominance over me makes it rather hard to see this soft side of him asking me questions so submissively.

i was stewing at my voluntary sexual suicide in my chair, while staring at the monitor. he walked in to say goodnight. with that he bent down over me and gave me a kiss. this kiss sent a melting effect from my mouth down to in between my legs. i did not want it to stop. i tried to hang on as i let out a light sigh with our lips locked. he started to pull and i started to panic.

he left me and headed towards the bedroom. i followed like a high school girl sprung off just one kiss. he laid in bed and flicked the channels on the television. i knew this would be a disaster, but i wanted to try. it was wishful thinking. i crawled on the bed and hovered over him and went in to kiss him. he kept wanting to pull away. i got the clue and stammered off.

i went to tend to the stupid laundry and if you know me, i am not fucking june cleaver. i come out of the laundry room pounding the light off and he comes walking out of the room…”hey, hey” he says. i am pissed and i am starting to starve.

he pushes me up against the wall and kisses me again like the first time. my heart starts to race and my breathing grows heavy. my right hand starts to dig into his forearm and he winces slightly and he grabs my chin and forces it up. he breathes on my neck and kisses. my hands travel up his arms and start to dig into his upper arms. he winces a little more and presses up against me, pinning me to the wall. i need him and i know in the back of my mind, i won’t get him. he kisses me again and goes back to my neck, i embrace but can not control my nails as they dig into his back. i am in a state of more then need. he pushes me again, against the wall and slides my sweats past my hips to see the panties that are on underneath. he stared and it seemed for that moment he was thinking. either he was thinking someone else saw these panties, or he was contemplating taking me because they were “fuck me” panties. snapping out of his temporary hesitation, he kissed me again and left me starving.